I’m listening to Erchint. This band was probably the pinnacle of my angst as a teenager. I didn’t even like the band that much when they were playing regular shows in Louisville, but I lost my shit when they did so.
Coming home tonight, it seemed like a great fit. Oddly enough, much like things I was pissed about when I was 16 or so, what set me off tonight really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme.
I play in a pool league. That’s organized match play in billiards, for adults. Grown women and men keeping score, watching, judging, discussing a game that they are paying to play against one another in a bar. Most of them take this stupid game way too fucking seriously. More than not, I don’t feel like being there. Admittedly there are few people (more skilled than I in the game) I really enjoy winning against as they seem to take it especially hard when losing to me. Thanks to the league handicapping system I can just hide their balls until they fuck up enough to allow me as many chances to win. It’s a simple strategy and I get a little something out of the goading in the process. Is it petty? Yes, but sometimes it’s the little things in life that make your day better.
At any rate, I’m pissed. As tend to be most instances, this probably had more to do with outside factors than the actual occurrence that set me off, but that doesn’t discount the fact that it happened. Bottom line, not everyone has the same agenda as you and at times it’s better to ask if someone wants your help than to insist upon providing it. I have learned this over years of failed relationships and I can only imagine the annoyance and anger I’m feeling after this stupid game is possibly a fraction of the “fuck off’s” any one of my ex-partners felt whilst I insisted on offering solutions to their problems.
Luckily, iTunes isn’t on random and as alphabetical order dictates in all my musical libraries, Evergreen (second incarnation) is now playing which is a very soothing sound. Odd how an amazing birthday show in my borrowed parents basement turned into a seemingly regular rotation of parties (I never admitted that), but I’m thankful for every time they setup down there. With this band comes lighter feelings and the satisfaction that this shit really doesn’t matter. As is life, it’ll be alright. The older I get, the better I feel, the more healthy choices I make and the best thing I can think of at the moment is to stop over thinking every thing. The bikes are always there, the records aren’t scratched and as far as I can tell, the kids still like me.