Fuck Gas

Uppers and downers, I like the drugs

Hi there. Remember me? I’ve been meaning to type some things out on here for quite a while now, I suppose I was just waiting for equally congruent shit piles of fuck everything to occur in order to get me worked up enough to sit down with this outdated, slow as New England maple syrup, pre Y2K hot box on my lap long enough to do so. All in all, I have actually enjoyed the typing of things as of late, and if you follow the happenings of the things going on around the On Your Lefts then you my friend, have been picking up what I have been putting down. So there.

Where were we? Ah, this fucking computer. I’m a paragraph in and my fucking legs are on fire, not to mention my unmentionables, who knows what is happening there. At any rate, nothing I have mentioned up to this point was really the point of any of this, I guess we’ll get going.

First: HOLY FUCKING, OH MY FUCKING, HOW THE FUCK… Single Speed Cyclocross World Motherfucking Championships are coming to Louisville for 2014.


The #KyFnCx guys, same great minds behind the Raleigh Single Speed Cyclocross Derby presented by Raleigh, made the trek to Philly recently for the 2013 edition and had more support than they ever expected up there. There are about a million and one details to be nailed down and Brian, Joe and the crew have more than their share of work cut out for them. You can follow the SSCXWC14KY shit show on the Twitters, Facespace and even follow the dudes on ye old Instagrizzle. I can’t wait.

Second: Fuck you. Yes, you. I’m saying this as your friend and you really need to understand, fuck you. Here’s the deal, I work in two bike shops (OYLC & MSB) and as anyone else who works in any sort of retail or service environment, I see a lot of shit happen that unfortunately shows me that the bulk of humanity are seriously oblivious to their actions and are so truly self indulged they don’t have any real belief in community. By community I mean your LBS. Local Bike Shop.


It’s just like Cheers. You want to go where everyone knows your name. It’s no secret that the internet has gang raped our club house. Everything changes with time and I accept this, but I refuse, and I hate to use a fucking cliche remark with an eye in it, but I refuse to turn a blind eye when so-called friends of the shop, any shop, are buying their parts online because, “it’s just too good of a deal.” Fuck you. I know everyone has a budget they are working within, everyone has their own shit to deal with, but if you want your stool at the end of the bar to exist, you have to support the motherfuckers that keep it open for you when you walk in the door.

Yes, this is the same discussion we always have, but unfortunately we have to continue to have it. For some masochistic reason, I love the bike industry. It is easily the most self depreciating thing I have ever been apart of aside from my foray into marriage, but unlike my traditional marriage, this bike industry I will never leave. It’s sad, but bicycles are my love and when you walk in my house and piss on my rugg, I get upset. Luckily for you, much like the Dude, I try to lean toward pacifism. That, and I don’t own the two shops you shit heads keep walking into and soiling the carpet in so it’s not really my place to tell you to get fucked.

Where are we going with this… I’m frustrated, but what’s new.

Just do me a favor. We both know you can find it cheaper on the internet, but I also think we both know you don’t absolutely need it right now, so maybe wait til next week and add a few more dollars to that coffer and buy it from a shop that you like. If you do absolutely need it right now, talk to your shop, explain the situation, maybe they’ll help you out, maybe they’ll give you a deal just because you’re insisting on not buying from the internet and supporting the shop you love. When you don’t even give your local shop the chance to sell to you they may as well go ahead and board the fucker up. Good luck getting your bike serviced on the internet.

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